20 January 2024

Today marks the anniversary of my mom's passing, and it serves as a reminder that life is short. Not to complain—she lived to the age of 93—but the older we get, the less time we have (or at least our perception of time shrinks).

My mother was a vibrant and compassionate person who shared light, joy, and love with everyone. It took forever to come up with the right sentiment for her grave, knowing it would literally be set in stone. Today feels like a good time to reflect on six valuable lessons she taught me:

Nothing is certain but the now. My mom had breast cancer decades ago and said it saved her life because the scans for her treatment uncovered a gastrointestinal stromal tumor that could have been deadly. Up until May 2024, she was remarkably healthy. Ironically, her brain tumor diagnosis gave me the gift of time with her. If you expected someone to be around forever, that time wouldn’t feel quite as precious.

Get the good stuff. I'm a bargain-hunter and eco-warrior, but my mom never skimped—at least in her senior years. Sometimes it's worth investing in quality items, which often makes environmental sense too because they last longer (e.g., bath towels) or work better with less (e.g., stain spray). Of course, the first question should always be: do you need it at all?

Eat your veggies. Growing up, we always had a salad before dinner. Mom made her own dressing with olive oil, cider vinegar, salt, and herbs—she was the OG "Glucose Goddess." Vegetables were a staple of every meal, and I guess it rubbed off on me! Healthy eating is something within our control; while we can't guarantee perfect health, we can stack the odds in our favor.

Out of sight, out of mind [habit]. We never had soda or Twinkies around. Of course, that meant they were the first things I went for at birthday parties or when babysitting, but I never developed a real love for them. I don't believe in demonizing any food, but focusing on nourishing foods and making less nutritious ones less convenient helps limit decision fatigue. Will Power should really just be a Rescue Hero because he doesn't exist in the natural world.

Never shy away from a debate. Anyone who shared a holiday meal with Mom knows she loved diving into difficult discussions and sharing her passions, whether it was the politics of the day or a donation she made for solar ovens in Africa. She understood the importance of talking about bigger issues and taught us that we could disagree and still love each other a whole lot.

Live a little. Taking care of yourself is important, but so is enjoying life. My mother attended all her doctor’s appointments, consumed a fairly healthy diet, and managed stress well. She also loved Broadway shows and dining out. She drank wine almost every day and never exercised—she just didn’t enjoy it. You do you. 

To be clear, I'm not recommending alcohol and a sedentary lifestyle!

Of course, there were a million other lessons along the way. Reflecting on my mom's wisdom reminds me of the balance she struck between responsibility and joy. Her lessons continue to shape my choices and inspire me to live with purpose and embrace the present. As I honor her memory today, I'm grateful for the legacy of love, resilience, and practical wisdom she left behind.